One of the most alien things about Bangkok is the transportation. A foreign license won’t cut it here, so anyone coming here must stick to walking or having someone else drive you. The city has a very large amount of foot traffic, but is the least pedestrian friendly place I have been. For one, it is always hot here. It is also a truly magical city, as the sidewalk will just randomly disappear.

When it comes to driving, you may see two differences between our roads and theirs. First of all, you will see more motorcycles here than you have ever seen before, and you won’t just see them on the roads, but the sidewalks too. It is a good sign that the sidewalk is about to disappear when an unfazed motorcyclist almost hits you. Though it seems, not just legal, but also completely normal for motorcycles to drive on sidewalks.

The second thing one will see is strange carts with engines driving on the roads, sidewalks, or just sitting parked on the side of the street. The man inside will attempt to convince you that you need to be driven somewhere. Unfortunately, we have needed to use these “vehicles'' more than once, as our family doesn’t fit in most cabs. You may be thinking, “Wow these carts are larger than a cab!” No, no they’re not. They are about half the width, and two thirds the length of a normal cab. They have no doors or seat belts, and only have one row of seats about the size of two normal car seats. The reason we can use them is because of their patented, “Barely a seat technology.” This cutting edge technology is a platform, which I cannot tell if it is a seat or an elevated area of floor made for the wheel or the engine to fit underneath. This barely a seat ™ is simply a part of the floor, which is about 4 inches higher, along the side of the tuk tuk. The drivers either don’t notice, or don’t care that they are in a tiny cart with no seat belts or walls, and drive as if they are in nascar.

Overall I would not recommend tuk tuks, or walking for anything but a short distance. The only real options are cabs, or a boat along the river. The cabs are normal cabs, but some drivers will take you for a foolish tourist by covering the meter, and charging you double. Despite this, cabs are my method of choice.

Boats aren’t bad normally but can be slow, as they can take up to half an hour for the right boat to come. Also know that some boats move slower than others. The boats only stop at a few locations, so you may have to walk a good distance to your destination.

Overall, there are a few important things to remember. One, it is better, and safer, to sleep on the side of the road, or miss your reservation, than take a tuk tuk. Two, while walking, you must never let your guard down, otherwise you will be blindsided by a motorcycle. Three, know when to cut your losses while waiting for a boat. If it has taken thirty minutes of waiting and the boat isn’t there yet, then it means that the boat is very slow, and will probably take even longer to actually get you to your stop once you're on it. Four, just take a cab. There is almost no reason not to at any time ever.

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